Monday, May 14, 2007
03 : Round and Round
I didn't get to sleep at all like I planned to.
I glanced out of the window. The rain didn't give any signs of stopping any time soon, but it was slowly subsiding little by little. Probably by the time I finish my work the rain will have stopped.
I sat up, stretched, and lie down again.
But still, I can't get myself to sleep.
Frustrated a bit, I got up and looked over Taku's magazine collection. I picked a few randomly, then sat down leaning against the wall just underneath the window.
Then a barely audible sound resonated from underneath my school bag.
I slowly dragged myself towards it, all the while mumbling under my breath.
I picked out my cell phone, and read the name flashing on the outside screen.
Hikaru. My brother.
I sighed a bit before flipping the phone open to answer the call.
"Yeah, Haru here."
A few coughs could be heard over the line. I patiently waited.
"...let me guess why you're calling."
"The usual, of course. I'm staying over at the office tonight. So...yeah. That's it."
This conversation seems like it occurs too many times to even care about.
"Sure. You finish your work."
"You too. Later."
I flipped the phone close. So then, me alone in the house tonight.
Not that it matters, since this happens quite frequently, especially lately. Working as an interior designer for a small company that's competing with every other companies in this day and age.
Of course you have to work hard. Harder than your rivals.
In fact, Hikaru's company is doing pretty well nowadays. I envy him a lot, since he knows what he wants and how to get it.
Me?
I'm still wondering.
I don't know what I want to do, what my strengths and weaknesses are.
Sometimes I even wonder who I am.
I glanced at the wall clock of Taku's room. It's still early for me to go down for work, but it's dead boring to sit here all alone doing nothing. Plus I didn't want to think much.
I decided I'd go help them out.
So I went downstairs immediately.
As I reached the main floor, I looked around briefly around the cafe.
I don't know why, but the previous bodyguard-charge pair I saw earlier was the first people I got my eyes on. I wondered why they returned back here.
Shrugging, I went to get my apron from the room at the back of the cafe.
Here goes another day, working in the cafe.
Like always.
Life goes round and round, like that.
+++ 03 : Round and Round (by L'Arc~en~Ciel)Nadia Nor at 01:57
Sunday, May 13, 2007
02 : It's Gonna Rain
I stepped out of the school grounds, along with the other students. I don't have many close friends who will walk together with me like the others around me, but I have no problem being alone all the way to my home. It saves me the hassle to think of what to talk about, what's the newest gossip heard, when will I have a girlfriend, so on, so on.
I prefer being an observer, a person who just sees the world around him and explain how or why things happen as they do. Or what will people do next. What they may be possibly thinking.
Actually I will walk together with Michiru and a few of her friends after school, but even without her having class duties, we will part ways halfway through my walk home. So I don't feel much different with or without her.
That sounded kind of cruel, I know. I don't need people to think for me, thank you.
I reached the crossroad in front of the row of shops some three blocks away from the school. That's when I heard the rumble of a thunder in the skies.
Why didn't I notice the sky was turning steadily grey with every step I took?
Feeling the first few drops of a light drizzle, I hurried across the road to a cafe in one of the shops. The thunder continued to rage inside the almost perfectly grey clouds.
And I thought the sky was blue just a few hours ago.
As I stepped into the cafe, the rain began to fall, slowly drizzling at first, then became heavier. I rolled my eyes and looked around in the attempt to ease myself from the frustration of not being able to go home, to my little room of temporary heaven.
Ah, I saw Taku at the kitchen window. I walked to him quickly.
Taku turned around just as I reached the counter of which he was behind.
"Ah, Haru! You're coming in early today?"
I work here on night shifts, by the way.
"No, Taku, I definitely am not."
"Nah, I don't think so too. You look kind of pissed off. So why...?"
I pointed to the outside, where heavy rain was pouring onto the street like crazy. My mouth widened in silent shock as I looked on, not expecting it to be this much of a bother.
"Ah...I see...taking cover, huh," Taku said thoughtfully.
Of course I'm only here at this time just to take cover, idiot. But I'm not about to say it out loud now, since I was going to ask for a favor.
"Listen, Taku. Can I crash in upstairs?"
Taku looked at me, face as blank as possible. Which was annoying me.
"Taku...?"
He shrugged. "I don't mind, but let me tell mom first, so she won't freak out."
I just nodded impatiently and waited for him at the counter.
He disappeared up the stairs to the second floor.
As I looked around the cafe, I heard a tinkle of the bell. A customer walked in, clothes soaking wet from the rain outside. Where was this customer when the rain started pouring down? Still walking on the streets? I don't understand what some people think sometimes.
Then another tinkle. In came yet another customer, a weird one. Someone who wouldn't usually be seen inside an average cafe such as this, as he was wearing a complete black suit, with matching black shades, and what apparently seemed like a piece of communicator thing on his ear like those bodyguards usually have on theirs.
This bodyguard-man then handed over the earlier person a towel. Ah, so he was a bodyguard of some sort. But he ought to look over his charge more carefully, since he himself is dry and did not pose any signs of having even touched by the rain, whereas the charge was looking as if he had been running around outside there, splashing water everywhere.
"Haru?"
I cut my eyes from looking at the two, and I found Taku at the bottom staircase, also looking at the out-of-place pair at the entrance.
"Yeah."
"Ah...mom said it's OK, but she wants to remind you that you've to start earlier today. We have a reservation for...something...whatever. Yeah."
"...I'll try. Thanks. Later then."
Taku nodded, and resumed his position behind the counter.
As I stepped up the stairs, I noticed that the bodyguard-charge pair had already went out.
+++ 02 : It's Gonna Rain (sung by Bonnie Pink)Nadia Nor at 01:50
Friday, May 11, 2007
01 : I'm Still Here
I stare out the windows.
Blue sky and white clouds above.
People bustling about the streets a few floors down.
Buildings of various heights and designs level with my eye.
The usual thing I do during class. I know I'm supposed to take notes or concentrate on the teacher (or pretend to), but how long can an average person stand this seemingly everlasting string of sentences? At least I'm not openly sleeping on my desk, like half of the class. Or engage in pointless talks, like those sitting at the back there. Or copying down my classmates' notes and assignments, like that guy at the corner.
"Haru," I heard someone calling from my right.
"Mm," came my reply without taking my stare off the outside scenery.
"Look at me."
I ignored it.
"Haru!"
"What is it?" This is a pain...just let me stare outside.
"I won't give my notes to you, you know?"
"Mm."
"Don't 'mm' me!"
Here we go again.
"Are you listening?"
I shrugged.
"Then take down the notes! Now!"
I just nodded, then continued watching the small group of girls crossing the road. They looked like they're having fun.
A few minutes later, I heard a sigh from my right.
Later, the class ended. After saying thanks to the teacher, the usual shuffling noises of packing up stuff can be heard almost everywhere around school. Added to the scene were the yelling of class duties, scraping of chairs and desks against the floor, laughing and giggling, and also the sound of footsteps leaving the classrooms with varying pace.
Everyday, the same thing occurring over and over again.
Sighing heavily, I picked up my bag and walked over to the class door.
"Haru!!" Ah, yet again, that voice.
I turned around slowly.
"...here." She handed me her notebook.
I looked at it with not much of an interest.
"You're going to need it. For the exams."
"I thought you're not going to help me or anything."
She shrugged. "I'm still a friend."
I looked at her like I always do at almost every time the class ends like this.
"Just take it. I know you can do the notes yourself, but there's no harm in having an easier reference right?"
"...thanks." I took her book, and she looked kind of pleased.
"Make sure you give it back tomorrow."
"Mm."
She smiled a bit more, nodded, and turned away to continue her class duty.
The notebook she gave me.
The same notebook that she willingly lends to me a few minutes after the school bell rang.
The same notebook, with always the same letters at the center of the front page.
M. I. C. H. I. R. U.
+++ 01 : I'm Still Here (song by John Rzeznik)Nadia Nor at 23:05
Epilogue ~ 00 : Zero
everyday is a new day.
new chances, new possibilities, new faces.
even probably a new fate, a new destiny.
so they say.
but to me, everyday seems the same.
nothing new, nothing to look forward to.
and not even planning to change my fate or my destiny.
i live my monotonous life, desiring many things, did a lot of things, but nothing truly gets me to view this world differently.
i wish...
i wish someday, someone, something different will happen.
i wish deeply in my heart, in my soul.
+++ Epilogue ~ 00 : ZeroNadia Nor at 21:05